You are ready for summer! You may have booked lots of fun outings, camps, and swimming lessons or decided to leave the calendar wide open so you can be spontaneous and take advantage of the beaches, parks, and wading pools. Not one precious sunny day will be squandered. You are ready to make this the best summer ever for your kids.
And then summer hits, and you find yourself rushing to get bags packed with sunscreen, sunglasses, bathing suits, and snacks. Your little one is throwing their food on the floor, nobody is listening or cooperating, and of course, you’re running late. And in these moments, you might snap, raise your voice, lose it, or break down.
It’s enough to make any parent feel anxious and overwhelmed and question whether they are the worst parent ever. Parenting is hard work, but by practicing mindfulness we can stay grounded, present, and intentional about how we raise our children. It allows us to connect back to ourselves so that we don’t become reactive or combative. Here are just a few simple mindfulness practices that you can use this summer (or anytime, really) to help you feel more energized, patient, and in control of your emotions.
Mindful Breathing
Sounds obvious, doesn’t it? We breathe all day long. But incorporating practices like square breathing will help to calm and balance your entire nervous system. To use square breathing, you create the image of a box in your mind. Start by taking in a deep breath for four seconds, visualizing going up one side of the box. Hold it for four seconds, then imagine going across the top of the box as you exhale for four seconds. You then hold for four seconds and inhale for four seconds as you go down the other side of the box. Hold for four seconds and exhale out for four seconds as you move across the bottom of the box. Repeat as many times as needed, but be sure as you inhale that your belly is expanding, and when exhaling, the belly is constricting.
As you get better at this practice, you can inhale and exhale for longer periods, as long as they are in equal proportions.
Mindful Appreciation
Science has identified gratitude as a conduit for happiness and health. Research has linked it with feeling more joy, optimism, and pleasure. Practicing gratitude in moments of stress can be as simple as stopping for a moment, maybe stepping out of the room, and identifying all the things you are grateful for. It is as simple as acknowledging the mindset you are in and shifting your lens. You can go from thinking I cannot do this. My kids are out of control. I am to blame for their crazy behaviors. How do I get out of this mess? to identifying five things you are grateful for: “I am so lucky that I have children who are healthy, we all have bathing suits to go swimming, that I have this afternoon to spend with my children, I have the means to make the choice to stay home part-time, and it is a beautiful sunny day!”
Mindful Meditations
You don’t have to pursue mediation on your own. You can find guided meditations online and via apps. You don’t need to do anything but listen, and you can do it anywhere and anytime. (I often do this first thing in the morning or in the car while I’m waiting to pick up my kids.) It’s a great tool for dealing with the stress at any time, but even better, it can help set you up for the day so you are calmer and more grounded and feel a greater sense of inner peace. There are tons of apps out there, but two of my favorites are Positivity and Headspace.
Parents and kids alike tend to have unreasonably idyllic ideas about the long, endlessly blissful summer vacation. When reality hits, these mindfulness tools can help you cope with the speed bumps a little more gracefully.
Want these three mindfulness practices readily available when you need them? Download a cheatsheet so you have them at your fingertips!
This article originally appeared in ParentMap Magazine on June 13, 2019
